"Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking" (1 Cor. 13:5). The New King James translation says that love "does not seek its own."
Jesus is love, and if we intend to follow His lifestyle, it will require the development of an unselfish nature. He told His disciples (and us), "If anyone intends to come after Me, let him deny himself [forget, ignore, disown, and lose sight of himself and his own interests]" (Mark 8:34). Since Christ is in us, the seed for that nature is already in us, but we must choose to develop it. God has planted His seed in us, but we must water and care for it properly so it grows to the fruit-bearing stage. The giving up of oneself is no easy task. The flesh dies hard and fights relentlessly.
Selfishness is the breeding ground for strife.
H/T: Conflict Free Living by Joyce Meyer